boobie check
Again, another post that will be a jumble of thoughts.
Firstly a photo of ME! This was taken by one of the participants at the Workshop on the weekend and I love it so much.
It just makes me feel happy to look at.
The skirt is a size 18 and is now too loose on me (It keeps spinning around LOL)
I NEEDED to see this photo. I was feeling down on myself (post-Workshop-blues?) and this picked me up again.
I haven't weighed myself for quite a few days.
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For the first time since July I felt like breaking my diet yesterday :( Maybe it was being away from home. Maybe it was the thought of appointments today. Maybe it was just tiredness and the stress of having the four kids on my own without any help from Mark.
I caught myself reaching for the wrong foods a few times. Not even consciously which was a bit of a worry. I think I'm definitely an emotional eater. I felt so, so hungry too - my routine of scheduled eating was out the window.
I overate at dinner and felt horrible with myself afterwards. I spent some time lying on the lounger room floor doing leg lifts, watching a lightning display over Main Beach. Aria joined me and was showing me "other" exercises to do (including lifting both legs at once) which was hilarious :) Oh, to be 3 and flexible.
We had to leave very early this morning so I could be home in time for two ultrasounds. I wasn't allowed to eat breakfast / morning tea, so my routine was out the window again. Looking forward to starting fresh tomorrow.
I did get a little exercise while we were away (a few walks on the beach) but I don't feel like I did enough.
Tomorrow's a new day!
______________________________________________________
Back to the reason for the title of this post.
I had two ultrasounds today. Breast and Renal (kidney)
Such is the number of tests and doctors visits I've had recently, that I couldn't actually remember WHY I was having a Kidney ultrasound when asked. (embarrassing)
It's too much *sad face* So draining (I've said it before) So worrying. So expensive. I'm seeing too many doctors and have so much going on in my head.
It sounds ridiculous when I say I'm having a Kidney ultrasound because I had a dissected artery in my neck.
(Renal ultrasound was to rule out any badies relating to blood pressure causes.....I remembered when I had a chance to think about it :) )
When I had a CT Scan of my chest, an "area of concern" was picked up in my right breast. (don't ask my why I had a CT Chest because I can't remember! LOL)
THANKFULLY I was scanned this morning and nothing was noted in the breast ultrasound.
They've encouraged me to keep checking my breasts for anything out of the ordinary and I guess it will be up to the Doctors if they want to investigate any further.
Firstly a photo of ME! This was taken by one of the participants at the Workshop on the weekend and I love it so much.
It just makes me feel happy to look at.
The skirt is a size 18 and is now too loose on me (It keeps spinning around LOL)
I NEEDED to see this photo. I was feeling down on myself (post-Workshop-blues?) and this picked me up again.
I haven't weighed myself for quite a few days.
_____________________________________________________
For the first time since July I felt like breaking my diet yesterday :( Maybe it was being away from home. Maybe it was the thought of appointments today. Maybe it was just tiredness and the stress of having the four kids on my own without any help from Mark.
I caught myself reaching for the wrong foods a few times. Not even consciously which was a bit of a worry. I think I'm definitely an emotional eater. I felt so, so hungry too - my routine of scheduled eating was out the window.
I overate at dinner and felt horrible with myself afterwards. I spent some time lying on the lounger room floor doing leg lifts, watching a lightning display over Main Beach. Aria joined me and was showing me "other" exercises to do (including lifting both legs at once) which was hilarious :) Oh, to be 3 and flexible.
We had to leave very early this morning so I could be home in time for two ultrasounds. I wasn't allowed to eat breakfast / morning tea, so my routine was out the window again. Looking forward to starting fresh tomorrow.
I did get a little exercise while we were away (a few walks on the beach) but I don't feel like I did enough.
Tomorrow's a new day!
______________________________________________________
Back to the reason for the title of this post.
I had two ultrasounds today. Breast and Renal (kidney)
Such is the number of tests and doctors visits I've had recently, that I couldn't actually remember WHY I was having a Kidney ultrasound when asked. (embarrassing)
It's too much *sad face* So draining (I've said it before) So worrying. So expensive. I'm seeing too many doctors and have so much going on in my head.
It sounds ridiculous when I say I'm having a Kidney ultrasound because I had a dissected artery in my neck.
(Renal ultrasound was to rule out any badies relating to blood pressure causes.....I remembered when I had a chance to think about it :) )
When I had a CT Scan of my chest, an "area of concern" was picked up in my right breast. (don't ask my why I had a CT Chest because I can't remember! LOL)
THANKFULLY I was scanned this morning and nothing was noted in the breast ultrasound.
They've encouraged me to keep checking my breasts for anything out of the ordinary and I guess it will be up to the Doctors if they want to investigate any further.
7 Comments:
you know Rach (this is going to sound funny) first thing i noticed when i saw this photo on facebook is that you don't have a bum lol so yes skirt is too big... Leanne needs to take you shopping (and a Chai for Aria lol)
need to thank you too... i'm back on the wagon (1200 calorie a day wagon) and the scales are going in the right direction again :)
thanks for the inspiration!!
Rachel I bet that is a massive weight off your chest (too soon?) can only imagine how relieved you must feel after the ultrasound. I'm sorry you are having a tough week, test wise and emotionally, maybe try meditation or make yourself a healthy yummy snack, some fruit you don't normally have or a pear poached in juice is really yummy. Keep it up, you are doing so well, it feels amazing just reading what you are achieving!
Oh Rach, try not to be too hard on yourself. One day won't undo all your good work and the fact that you 'cared' means alot. Here's to tomorrow and getting back into your routine.
ps yay for good results.
pps sounds like you will be clothes shopping again soon, woohoo!
Your a beautiful chickie babe, a true inspiration in all aspects. I was so overjoyed to see you again on the weekend, and I must say your looking fabulous! Keep smiling hun and keep inspiring. Mwa Emma R :)
So glad the boobie ultrasound came back OK!
You are looking fabulous - the clothes are hanging off you in that photo! But that photo conveys such a feeling of joy! I know that you're probably just showing Miss A what to do for the photo - but it still screams "triumphant" to me :o)
We all fall off the wagon sometimes... what is important is that we notice the fall and we get back on :o) You're amazing!
Ali :o)
Keep well Rach and never be too hard on yourself. Each day just start new and do it all over again.
Wow!! LOOK AT YOU! This screams to me YES! I CAN, YES! I WILL, YES! I HAVE. Rach you are doing brilliantly (I agree - time for a new skirt!) I hear you about reaching for "bad" choices. I do hope though that you do allow yourself the odd treat - keeps it real. You ARE strong enough now to not make it an everyday treat and perhaps if you aren't ready for food rewards make sure you have a YOU reward. I know how expensive this all is, but you know what - YOU ARE SO WORTH IT! xx
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