ONE YEAR.
12 months today. It's the Anniversary.
One year since my life changed forever.
I'm feeling sad, so indulge me while I wallow ;/
Logically, I KNOW that I'm better off now. I know all of the facts and all of the figures.
I can still mourn ignorance, can't I?
Things happen that you never imagine happening to you in a million years.
You don't want to have something rare, something unexplained. You don't like to think about "what ifs?"
or what could have happened. You don't want to be fascinating for all the wrong reasons.
God. That day. Those two weeks in the hospital that followed.
The weeks that followed. The weakness. The hopelessness. The terror. The months that followed.
I didn't think I could cry actual tears anymore.
(I seriously didn't.....I thought my happy pills were stopping it somehow LOL)
Today I'm letting myself cry.
Tomorrow I'll be strong again.
One year since my life changed forever.
I'm feeling sad, so indulge me while I wallow ;/
Logically, I KNOW that I'm better off now. I know all of the facts and all of the figures.
I can still mourn ignorance, can't I?
Things happen that you never imagine happening to you in a million years.
You don't want to have something rare, something unexplained. You don't like to think about "what ifs?"
or what could have happened. You don't want to be fascinating for all the wrong reasons.
God. That day. Those two weeks in the hospital that followed.
The weeks that followed. The weakness. The hopelessness. The terror. The months that followed.
I didn't think I could cry actual tears anymore.
(I seriously didn't.....I thought my happy pills were stopping it somehow LOL)
Today I'm letting myself cry.
Tomorrow I'll be strong again.
2 Comments:
You are allowed to have a good cry occasionally...just appreciate how far you have come in the last 12 mths & what YOU have achieved. love Mum xo
Happy LIFE Anniversary xx OMG I'm in tears. Firstly I can't believe its been a year but then when I see you in the flesh I see a NEW YOU!. There was nothing wrong with the OLD you in my eyes but now I see a twinkle, a spark that wasn't noticeable before. I see a whole lot LESS of you too. Again - didn't notice it before but I certainly DO notice now. I know as a friend I'm grateful you are HERE and I'm grateful for the new you, on the outside. You have always been a beautiful soul - that will never change xx
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