update...

BIH is officially back. click here to read about BIH

I misunderstood the condition I guess. (or no one explained it to me properly)

I had no idea that BIH could return.

I thought I'd lost weight. I was healthy. My blood pressure was perfect.
The swelling of my eye discs had gone. Fixed.

Not so :(

The Specialist I saw this morning says it's "disappointing" that it's returned with everything I've done,
but there's nothing I've done to cause it to come back and there's nothing I can do to "fix it"
(beside medication, of course. Or a Lumbar Puncture in bad cases to ease symptoms)
The fact that I stopped BP meds at the same time as the return of symptoms is purely coincidence.

So, I've increased my BIH medication for the next three weeks and then he'll re-evaluate.
(please keep praying he won't decide to do another LP)

I have "very narrow optic nerves" (skinny eyes, haha) which is very uncommon apparently
and makes me susceptible to BIH and other eye diseases later in life.
The Specialist warned me to be careful with my health (blood pressure, cholesterol etc) and
I assured him that I'd already had my scare and I will continue to be the picture of health :)

Things aren't dire. Everything is okay. I've been diagnosed. I'm being treated. I'm disappointed,
but I'm still 1000 times better off than I was 12 months ago. xx

hello

Something I'm asked is "tell me your diet" or "share your recipes"
My answer is always the same.

I'm not on a diet. I haven't dieted in the last 10 months.

I'm eating healthy.

I'm eating MORE now as I'm eating 5 times a day. (roughly every 2.5 hours)

I don't count calories. Or count points. Or drink shakes.

I eat in moderation. I know what a portion size is.

I don't let myself get STARVING hungry.

If I treat myself...I work off that treat.

I get my body moving.

I'm not following any recipes. I cook without oil, fat, salt.
I don't deep fry. I grill. I bake. I trim fat. I choose healthy cuts of meat.
I choose trim milk over full fat.
I'll choose a low fat yoghurt, low fat cheese.

I don't buy a muffin/cake to "treat myself" when I buy a cup of coffee (that was common for me ;)

A friend directed me to a FB page the other day and I've loved reading it.
I've found myself nodding over and over to things she has written.

Here's a couple that stood out......

"The real key to lasting weight release is not a better diet, but better thinking." ~Sandy

and this one was true for me....

"Are you a perfectionist? Do you think that if you don’t eat perfectly all day, there’s no sense in continuing? Don't get trapped into all-or-nothing thinking. Instead, make a step, any step, in the direction you want to move. Remember: Progress, not perfection." ~Sandy

Here is the Facebook page if you want to check it out for yourself....

Mindwise Bodywise

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Hmm, so much going on in my head right now.

Thank you all. Truly, THANK you for supporting me. Messages, calls, offers to take me to the Doctor,
look after my kids etc.
I appreciate you all xx

I think I've gotten over the shock a little from seeing the Optometrist.
I feel a little ripped off, truth be told :P
I've done all the right things etc. Lost a stack of weight (which was thought to be the cause of my BIH
in the first place) Just to hear that it's back again really threw me.
I was supposed to be cutting back on my BIH medication actually (before I saw them next at the PA) and
hadn't even started doing that yet. (won't touch it now and will stay at the same dose)

I have however, dropped ANOTHER medication completely. For Blood Pressure!!
I've been on this medication since I stopped breastfeeding Aria.....so three years.
It's GONE! BP is holding steady without it - yay!


The appointment with the Neuro/Ophthalmologist is this Thursday.
It's the same head Doctor I see at the PA, only I'm seeing him privately so I don't have to wait.
I'm very scared :(
I didn't go into a lot of detail about what happened last time,
but it was the main factor of my post traumatic stress
and thinking about it still brings me to tears quite easily.

It's out of my control now....and I just have to wait.

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Most recent photo. (note to self - clean the bathroom mirror :P )



and a blurry, sleepy photo of my girl and I just cause I love it :)

two steps back.....

So it turns out that the dizziness, one sided headache and upset tummy feeling
is not blood pressure related or drug withdrawal related.

I saw my Optometrist today (just for a routine check-up - I want to replace my
scratched lenses and I thought I'd have an eye test while I was there)

It appears my BIH is back :( Sad, sad, face.

I document everything in my diary on a twice-daily basis, so I know exactly when it started.
(1.5 weeks ago)

Just not sure why it's come back.

I feel kind of stupid for not putting it together in my head - I was stunned when he told me
that he could see swelling. Was not expecting that at all.
I did have a fleeting thought to ask my GP about BIH when the headache started,
but didn't follow through.

Next step is Neuro-Ophthalmologist next week. (privately so I don't have to wait)

I could use all of your positive thoughts and prayers that I don't have to go through another
Lumbar Puncture or hospital stay *tears*

wedding dress.....

Crappy photo, but enough to give you an idea....

click to view



On a whim, I tried on my Wedding Dress over the weekend.......and it's too big!!!
(almost revealing too much there....it's not supposed to sit so low)

Wow.

It was very unexpected. I weighed less last time I lost weight, but couldn't get into this dress.
I think I'm more toned (from exercise) this time.

We will have been Married 15 years in October and I've never been able to fit into the dress since I wore it.

The little rudey in the background had to be involved and carry the train - bless her cotton socks. She's so cute :)

so much to write....

So much to write, so little time.

A have a lot of thoughts running around in my mind, but no time to sit and write them all down at the moment.

I have received a couple of HEARTFELT e-mails that have really touched me.
I haven't replied yet, I want to reply in full without rushing and it's in part, what I want to say here.

So, I just wanted to say, thank you for e-mailing me and for trusting me with YOUR thoughts and feelings.

Hope to catch my breath over the weekend xx

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I'm struggling at the moment (anxiety wise)
Conflicting Doctor advice mostly.

the numbers game...

I hadn't weighed in eight days. Again I was convinced that I had put on weight.
In my mind my bra felt tighter, my jeans felt tighter.....I felt BIG.

After much head-talking this morning (LOL) I decided to get on the scales and just weigh myself
and put myself out of my misery.

I'd lost weight.

Hmm. This is good news, don't get me wrong,
but I think I need to talk to my doctors about the mental side of things.
Should it be occupying my mind this much? Do you EVER stop thinking about weight/food/exercise?
Is it GOOD that I don't stop thinking about it? So many questions LOL

Dietician is this coming Thursday. 42.2 kgs lost.
I last saw them four months ago and had lost 32kgs.
Not as much weight lost in the time since as I would have liked, but 10kgs is 10kgs and I *hope* they'll be happy with that.

5th of August is my 12 month anniversary
(this is the date that I started recording my weight with the doctors, with the intention of lowering it)

I'm looking at a Storey Bridge climb to celebrate :)

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Things have been going pretty well with KJ and the Child Psychologist.
We know WHY he's behaving the way he is. We've made lots of progress since we've started.
The weekend was bad though :(
Trying to remember that the good days outnumber the bad at the moment.
I never thought a child would be so mentally draining :/

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I have had a few days of light-headiness. When I bend, stand too quick.....or even just sitting.
I decreased one of my blood pressure medications on the 9th (6 days ago) and my blood pressure is lower than ever.
Today I've been given the go ahead to STOP one of my blood pressure tablets completely for two days
and then try again on the reduced dose. We'll re-evaluate in a few days.

I admit to having some (a fair bit) of anxiety about decreasing or stopping my medication.
It's been my "safety net" for the last 10 months.

It will be really nice for the head spins to stop though :/
(lowest reading was 90/67. Average for the last week has been approx 105/60 ish)

Average before the C/Artery Dissection was 165/95 with medication (not good)

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My first set of rings (original ones that I got Married with) are now too big on my ring finger.
I will have to stop wearing them.
From memory, I did have them resized (bigger) many years ago, so they're not actually the size they were on the day.

My second set of rings (purchased in the last couple of years when the first set became too tight LOL)
have been sitting in the safe for quite a few months now and can now comfortably fit my middle fingers.

photos

Found some older photos - taken June 2009 - two years ago.

I had no idea....... (click to view)

update.....

I've had an idea of how I want to celebrate 12 months of healthy living. (August)
Will speak to my GP this afternoon to get the okay :)

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I hadn't weighed myself since before Perth (something like 10 days) and I was
actually nervous to get on the scales.

Lots of travel, fighting sinus, irregular meals and not much in the way of deliberate exercise.

You know how you build something up in your mind until it becomes much worse than it actually is?

I was CONVINCED I'd put on a couple of kilo's LOL

I weighed this morning - and I was the exact same weight.
I'm stoked with that. It was a challenge to maintain, but I did it - successfully.

I have a dietician appointment next week and I'd love to lose another couple of kilo's before then,
so I'm going hardcore (walking everyday) before I have to weigh in :)

Here's me in Melbourne on the weekend....