comments...

35 kgs lost :) :) :)


Char said "Can you give us an idea of what you'd eat over a couple of days?"

I'll just let you know what I ate Thursday & Friday (if I can think back that far LOL)

At no time have I felt "starving"

Thursday

Breakfast - 2 eggs made into an omelette, topped with capsicum, tomato, spinach leaves, shallots and pepper.
Cup of tea with medication.

Morning tea - rice crackers with light dip

Lunch - Weight Watchers meal from the freezer.
Large water

Afternoon tea - a Peach and some watermelon

Bottle of water

Dinner - Taco Rice recipe. I didn't have any of the corn chips. One scoop of mince/rice with heaps of salad in a wrap.
Large drink with medication.

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Friday.

Breakfast - 3/4 cup cereal, 1/3 cup trim milk, roughly 1/2 - 3/4 cup fruit. (just whatever I've got)
Cup of tea to drink with medication.

Bottle of water

Morning tea - six water crackers with low fat cheese
large glass diet cordial

Lunch - Spinach Mission Wrap with lots of salads and a couple of slices of ham. 1 teaspoon mayo, no butter.
Another cup of tea

Afternoon tea - 8 vitawheat rice crackers with vegemite

Bottle of water

Dinner - I didn't feel like cooking, so everyone else had fish and chips. Mark bought me a grilled fish (didn't even ask him - he just bought it for me like that, very cool) I had it with lots of salad and a heaped teaspoon of tartare sauce.
Soda water and lime to drink medication.

I walked for approx 20 minutes.

just another morning....

Cereal topped with fresh fruit and trim milk. Cup of tea (the new Chai - it's lovely) and my lovely assortment of drugs :/ (this is only the morning's worth)



Feeling energetic and happy. Think I might aim for a couple of long walks this weekend.

a cup of chai :)

34.2 kgs lost

Average BP - 110/65

I had a few suggestions on "Chai" style tea. (T2 seemed very popular)
I was shopping the other day and came across a Twinings brand. I'm sure it's new. (at least - I've never seen it before!)
I've just made one and it's cooling beside me on the desk. I look forward to finding my favourite.
(I think half the pleasure for me is the smell - delicious!)

Every time Mum comes over we have a cup of tea and I ALWAYS complain about my horrible tea cups, so I bought a couple of new tea cups too. Aren't they pretty? :)



It was actually Peta that got me hooked on Chai Tea many years ago when we went to one of her favourite Nepalese restaurants.
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I've got a trip to WICKED coming up. It was a birthday present....that got postponed when QPAC went under water in January :(
I wasn't sure what to wear....but knew I had to buy something as I had nothing in my wardrobe.
I've bought a black dress (I gave myself permission to buy black for a night time outing :) and a super-cute cardi top (to cover the sleeveless dress) from City Chic.
Here's a photo here. (have to say it looks much better in person, the photo is pretty average)

CARDI

comments.....

Peta said - "Haha - whilst we're putting things out there: I'm going to have a little, healthy, happy baby (but not too little) and then before too long we'll both be back at 75kg! :)"

Wanna race? :P (actually not fair, you get to lose bulk weight in one go :P)

Katherine said - "LOL! You may have not lost 40 kg YET but Oh My! Look at you! I really hope you are measuring too! Yay you! "

Actually, no I haven't measured. I could never get consistent numbers (I musn't put the tape measure back in the same place)
I'm using my clothing as a guide though.

Vicki said - "Rach have you thought about going to the Rocklea Markets for F&V? We go every wednesday evening (3pm-8pm) and the produce is so much cheaper and fresher. I got 3 punnets of strawberries for $5 last week, bananas for $2.99kg and unlike the F&V shop there are lots of stall holders so you choose the quality of the produce so you can get bananas that are at the need to go into a cake stage or green and everywhere in between :) We spend a lot of fresh produce about $50 per week but we can get a full pull along trolley thingy full for that amount :)"

I'll check them out! Thanks Vicki :)

back to normal LOL

Okay, sorry for my little self-pity post yesterday. (and thank you for all of your support - makes my heart happy :)

Weighed myself this morning - scales are still heading downwards. Things weren't as bad as I'd made out in my head.

I think the tiredness got to me. (mental, not just physical)

This morning I'm wearing my too-small (which are no longer too-small) jeans that I bought a while ago. A little snug, but not cutting off the circulation to anything :)

As a funny side note, I was chatting to Peta a few days ago and mentioned how strange it was that I've lost nearly 35kgs and my rings weren't loose at all. Yesterday and today - they're spinning around my fingers and if I get my hands wet they slip off!

So - just putting it out there - how strange that I haven't lost 40kgs yet :P :P

boobie check

Again, another post that will be a jumble of thoughts.

Firstly a photo of ME! This was taken by one of the participants at the Workshop on the weekend and I love it so much.
It just makes me feel happy to look at.



The skirt is a size 18 and is now too loose on me (It keeps spinning around LOL)
I NEEDED to see this photo. I was feeling down on myself (post-Workshop-blues?) and this picked me up again.

I haven't weighed myself for quite a few days.

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For the first time since July I felt like breaking my diet yesterday :( Maybe it was being away from home. Maybe it was the thought of appointments today. Maybe it was just tiredness and the stress of having the four kids on my own without any help from Mark.
I caught myself reaching for the wrong foods a few times. Not even consciously which was a bit of a worry. I think I'm definitely an emotional eater. I felt so, so hungry too - my routine of scheduled eating was out the window.
I overate at dinner and felt horrible with myself afterwards. I spent some time lying on the lounger room floor doing leg lifts, watching a lightning display over Main Beach. Aria joined me and was showing me "other" exercises to do (including lifting both legs at once) which was hilarious :) Oh, to be 3 and flexible.

We had to leave very early this morning so I could be home in time for two ultrasounds. I wasn't allowed to eat breakfast / morning tea, so my routine was out the window again. Looking forward to starting fresh tomorrow.
I did get a little exercise while we were away (a few walks on the beach) but I don't feel like I did enough.
Tomorrow's a new day!

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Back to the reason for the title of this post.

I had two ultrasounds today. Breast and Renal (kidney)
Such is the number of tests and doctors visits I've had recently, that I couldn't actually remember WHY I was having a Kidney ultrasound when asked. (embarrassing)

It's too much *sad face* So draining (I've said it before) So worrying. So expensive. I'm seeing too many doctors and have so much going on in my head.

It sounds ridiculous when I say I'm having a Kidney ultrasound because I had a dissected artery in my neck.
(Renal ultrasound was to rule out any badies relating to blood pressure causes.....I remembered when I had a chance to think about it :) )

When I had a CT Scan of my chest, an "area of concern" was picked up in my right breast. (don't ask my why I had a CT Chest because I can't remember! LOL)

THANKFULLY I was scanned this morning and nothing was noted in the breast ultrasound.

They've encouraged me to keep checking my breasts for anything out of the ordinary and I guess it will be up to the Doctors if they want to investigate any further.

Wardrobe declutter

A few jumbled thoughts.....

I emptied out my closet of anything that is too big. As you will see from the photo it equaled a really HUGE pile on the couch.
Some things still had tags on. It felt kind of liberating - I am NOT going back to that size, so why was I hanging on to them?

You will notice that 99% of the items are my "uniform"....black and denim. A little bit of brown thrown in if I was feeling risky :P

I have a big empty closet now LOL, but I'm okay with that :)



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My stomach is getting flatter! Mind you, I don't think I'll ever have a "flat stomach", but it's definitely flatter. More in proportion to my hips and bottom if that makes sense?

Remember the pants I found while I was wardrobe shopping? Yesterday I put the keys in my pocket while I was wearing them....and my pants fell down LOL I don't think I even got two weeks wear out of them?

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I forgot to mention that the Dietician has set me a goal weight. 75 kgs. I'm still a long way off, but I feel like I can do it.

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As I was grocery shopping the other day, I was pondering the rising cost of fruit and vegetables (I'm sure many other people are too) and I was telling Mum that I hesitated about adding some things to my trolley.
As I stood there, I realized that the $4.00 punnet of blueberries is NOTHING compared to what I used to spend on takeaway, junk food etc. I never used to think twice about spending money on those sorts of foods.
I added a $4.00 punnet of blueberries and a $5.00 iceberg lettuce just because I could :)

I shop probably every second day for fruit and vegetables / salad ingredients. I always make sure to have plenty at home.



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Two ultrasounds and a blood test next week. Going to be a busy one!

Over the plateau...

Thank goodness I seem to be moving forwards again at a nice pace. The plateau felt like it lasted FOREVER! In reality it was about 4 weeks. It was doing my head in at the time, but I'm playing catch-up again now.
Hope I don't have another one anytime soon.

34 kgs lost

People are finally starting to "mention" my weight loss. You know how it is when you see someone and you think they've lost weight, but you're not sure, so you don't want to say anything to offend.
Well, I must definitely look it for sure now as I had about 5 separate people mention it to me yesterday at school :)

CT scan from 3 weeks (?) ago showed no enlarged lymph nodes, but it has found something else of concern *sigh*
I'll go into more detail later. Don't have the strength right now.

I guess the downside of complex testing of everything under the sun, is that it's going to find things that you otherwise wouldn't even know about. (like the enlarged Lymph nodes that came and went)

All good, not stressing. Hearing test was yesterday. Don't have the official results yet.

I've discovered a new love of FISH! I think I've had it four times in a week LOL (Grilled Barramundi is my favourite)

yesterday....

Everything was great - both Dr's were very happy with my progress.....and I even talked photography with the Endocrinologist LOL More blood tests just to check that things are as they should be. BP was LOW for appointment, so might be time for a pow-wow amongst specialists to start decreasing medication - yay!


I made this last night....it was YUM!

Roasted Tomato and Capsicum Soup.
(I didn't add salt or sugar, but added a dash of sweet chilli sauce)



SOUP

on the road again

Things have finally started moving again 32.4 kgs lost this morning. Food intake has remained the same - I just mixed up my exercise and increased it slightly.

Two hospital appointments today - Aria is coming too but was concerned about going to the "hostipal" where Mummy had a bad headache :( I've assured her that we will be coming home again.

Oh, today I went shopping in my own wardrobe! LOL I found some pants squashed waaaay at the back. Brand new with tags LOL Bought them on clearance, but they never fit (were way too tight) I tried them on and they're a little too big. Might get a couple of weeks wear out of them :)

Order of priority tomorrow - find some sports bras :p
(I have no idea where to look ?)

Reflection....

Part of my homework is to think about whether I had pre-existing Anxiety / Depression BEFORE I got sick.

Wow, tough question.

I honestly don't think so, but there's no denying that I'm different now. I feel happier and lighter (of spirit)
I was on a pretty strong Anxiety medication for Aug/Sep/Oct.
I'm talking knock-you-out strong.
The first time I started I slept for nearly 48 hours. (I'd been too scared to sleep before that, worried that I wasn't going to wake up :( She prescribed something that was going to work immediately and I needed it.

I weaned off that drug (just wasn't practical with the kids) and my doctor now has me on a different brand of anxiety drug. It took quite a few weeks to notice any difference. (that's the intention of the drug) and I'm currently still taking it.

Is that the reason for my happiness? I'm certain it's contributing.

But I've also completely changed my life. I cut back my working hours. I work only on "work" days. On my days off, Aria and I get out of the house and do something fun. (beach, park, shopping etc)
I stopped working nights. I would have dinner and head straight downstairs and work until 11pm.
I take breaks from the computer. I make myself have morning tea, a lunch hour and afternoon tea.

I'm active and exercising. I was doing none of this beforehand. I'm cooking and enjoying playing with food.
Every kilo I lose is like a weight off my mind as well.

I don't think I was depressed or anxious before.......but I don't think I was happy either. I just didn't know it.

Changed behaviour?

My tastes have changed. I no longer crave chocolate, sugar, fried foods, diet coke etc.

This morning I actually craved 9 grain Vita Wheats spread with vegemite and topped with Alfalfa sprouts LOL Seriously :)

I worked during lunch time yesterday (I photographed an event)
I made sure to have eggs for breakfast (keep me going longer) and a good morning tea before I left. I also took three bottles of water with me and drank them all. (oh boy - it was HOT!)

The Reception was held at the most mouth-watering restaurant I've ever seen. The family and the staff all offered me food and drink, but I'm never hungry when I'm working. (adrenaline maybe?)

The OLD Rachel would have stopped on the way home for take-away....something quick and easy that didn't require me to get out of my car (tired feet)

The NEW Rachel stopped at home, picked up the family, ducked into the shops for some quick groceries and grabbed some crackers and a giant Peach (and another bottle of water) to get me through to Dinner time. (it was 4.30pm by this time)
We went for a walk around a new park that I wanted to show the kids and we came home for dinner. I didn't overindulge as I had taken the edge off my hunger with the crackers/fruit/water.

I was feeling pretty proud of myself last night :)

comments.....

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inspiration?

Anyone watching Biggest Loser?
I swing from being inspired by it, to being annoyed with it. Mostly with the weight loss "numbers" side of it.
I know they'll make my (average) 1kg loss per week look measly LOL

I cried during their first weigh in and during their introduction stories. I could relate to pieces from them all.
I missed watching the trainers weigh-in.....probably a good thing :/

I must admit, some of their eating habits made me look GOOD! LOL

I wish they'd put up the contestants heights and goal weights.....it makes it hard to gauge their weight without knowing how tall they are.

Mark and I disagreed with parading the contestants in front of their families and friends in their underwear. He thought it was a good motivator for all of them. He's never been overweight in his life. Personally I couldn't have done it and it made me feel sick for them and it was difficult for me to watch.

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Weight loss has stalled. Trying not to get discouraged. Tonight I jogged / walked / jogged / walked. The heat has made me lazy (or made it easy to make excuses?) so I want to try and budge the scales before I see the Endocrinologist & Dietician next week. BP has been good (went a little crazy for a few days) but things are back to normal.
I also have a hearing test next week and need to squeeze in an ultrasound of my kidneys sometime.

My current drink of choice.....

Cold Soda Water, heaps of ice and fresh lime.....all together in one of my drinking vases :P
It's so refreshing.
(We actually have a Soda Stream machine, so I fizz the water myself - easy)

I've had a couple of "Chai Latte's" from Michel's lately. Anyone know how bad they are?????
I'm guessing they're pretty bad, just by how sweet they are. I think I better give them up.